Ouch! That Hurts!! 

Have you ever seen a child get hurt?I mean  get hurt. Not life-threatening hurt, but that kind of hurt where they bump their knee, hit their elbow, trip over something that was clearly in front of them, and then look around to see if anybody saw it. For a few seconds, they might be quiet. Then once they realize someone is watching, here come the tears. And if it is your child, you already know the routine. You check the injury. You ask, “Where does it hurt?” They point to a spot that may or may not be the actual place. You try to comfort them. You may even say, “You’re okay,” but in their little world, they are not okay yet. That pain is real to them. Adults can be funny about that. We see the little scrape and think, “You’ll be fine.” But to a child, that small wound can feel like the whole world stopped. The truth is, adults are not that different.

We may not fall out crying in the middle of the floor like a child, although some of us have probably wanted to. We may not point to a scraped knee, but we know what it feels like to be hurt. Only our pain often comes from people. A betrayal. A harsh word. A broken promise. A disappointment. A relationship that wounded us. A person who said they loved us but still caused pain. And just like a child, something inside us says, “Ouch, that hurts.” The problem is, when we get older, we learn how to cover it up. We smile. We keep moving. We say, “I’m good.” We act like it did not bother us. But deep down, the child inside us is still holding that place and saying, “That hurt me.” That is why forgiveness can be so difficult. And let me be honest: I have trouble with forgiveness too.

I know what the Word says. I know what Jesus teaches. I know forgiveness is right. But knowing what is right does not always mean it feels easy. Sometimes I have to bring the same hurt back to the Heavenly Father more than once and say, “Lord, I know I need to release this, but I am still feeling it.” Maybe you have been there too. You want to forgive, but the memory still stings. You want to move forward, but something keeps replaying. You want to let it go, but every time you think about what happened, that little place inside you says, “Nope, that still hurts.” Forgiveness is not hard because we do not understand the command. Forgiveness is hard because we remember the pain.

Lord Jesus said in Matthew 6:14–15 (NIV): “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” 

Now that is not one of those verses we rush to put on a coffee mug. That is one of those verses that makes you sit up a little straighter. Jesus is making it clear that forgiveness matters deeply to the Heavenly Father. Not because what happened to us was okay. Not because the pain was small. Not because the person who hurt us deserves to be excused. Forgiveness matters because unforgiveness keeps us tied to the very thing that wounded us. It is like carrying pain around and calling it protection. But here is where we have to be honest. Some hurts are not small. Some things were unfair. Some people did wrong. Some wounds changed how we saw ourselves, others, and even life. The Heavenly Father does not ask us to pretend it did not hurt. He asks us to trust Him with the hurt.

That is where Romans 12:19 (NIV) helps us. It says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” In other words, God is not asking us to ignore justice. He is asking us to stop trying to be the judge, jury, and collection agency. And that is hard. Because when somebody hurts us, something in us wants the account settled. We want them to understand what they did. We want them to feel what we felt. We want the apology, the explanation, the acknowledgment, and sometimes, if we are being real, we want them to be inconvenienced just a little bit too.

Lord, help us. But revenge is too heavy for us to carry. Bitterness is too expensive. Unforgiveness may feel like control, but over time, it becomes a cage. Forgiveness does not mean you were not hurt. Forgiveness does not mean you have to trust that person the same way again. Forgiveness does not mean there are no boundaries. Forgiveness does not mean you excuse what happened. Forgiveness means you release the right to repay. It means you place the hurt in the hands of the Heavenly Father and say, “Lord, I trust You with what they did to me.” That is not weakness. That is surrender. And sometimes surrender is the beginning of healing. When a child gets hurt, they often run to someone they trust. They want comfort. They want help. They want somebody to see the pain and care enough to respond. Maybe that is what we need to do with our hurt. Run to the Father. Not with polished words. Not pretending we are fine. But honestly, saying:

“Lord, this hurt.”

“Lord, I am angry.”

“Lord, I do not know how to let this go.”

“Lord, help me forgive.”

The Heavenly Father can handle that kind of prayer. He is not asking you to act like the wound did not happen. He is inviting you to bring the wound to Him so it does not keep ruling you. So today, if there is someone you need to forgive, do not minimize the pain. Bring it to the Father. Tell Him where it hurts. Ask Him to help you release what you cannot carry anymore. Because forgiveness may not erase what happened. But it can loosen the grip that what happened has had on you. And when the child inside you says, “Ouch, that hurts,” remember this:

Your Father sees the wound.

Your Father knows the truth.

And your Father can be trusted with the pain.

Next Step

Take a few quiet minutes today and ask the Heavenly Father, “Is there anyone I am still holding unforgiveness toward?” If a name or situation comes to mind, do not rush past it. Be honest about the pain. Tell Him where it hurt and why it still feels heavy. Forgiveness does not mean the hurt did not matter. It means healing matters too.

God bless you, God keep you. God loves you and I love you too!